Throttling the Bully

If Multiple Myeloma were a kid, it would be that brat you grew up with that talked back to the teacher and bullied your friends.  That kid that made you want to be the class hero and punch in the face.  I knew a kid like that.  His name was Jonathan, and I remember having that recurring dream that I’d throttle him even though he actually scared the patootie out of me.

Obviously being a child and afraid of a bully is much different than being an adult and NOT being afraid of a bully.  My kids know I will not, under any circumstance, tolerate bullying.  In fact, if they are faced with a situation of standing up for a friend or themselves in the face of a bully, by golly they better do it.  That’s how I’m going to approach my growing (yes, it’s gotten bigger) monster tumor that MM gave to me.  Now when the Arkansans are ‘melting’ it (that’s what they call it when they dose me with high levels of chemo) I can focus on throttling it and be oh so satisfied when they tell me the monster’s been melted away!  Unfortunately, that’s only part of the problem, but the easiest place to start.  It was, after all, what inspired this blog in the first place.

For those readers that don’t know, the cancer that is causing the tumor, known as a plasmacytoma, to grow is actually a plasma cancer.  Since plasma is everywhere, quite annoyingly, so is multiple myeloma.  We can’t just get rid of the tumor, treat the area and go.  It doesn’t work that way.  My bone marrow biopsy results came back with plasma cell myeloma involving 85% of the marrow in my body.  Yup, that’s a big number.  It’s okay, though.  I will beat this…throttle it!

I’ve been told the specifics about how this will happen, but if I try to repeat it I’ll just end up looking like an idiot.  Look, I’m a blogger, not a doctor!  (heheheheee;)  Anyway, my short term goal is to get onto a clinical trial in Arkansas, and my long term goal is to CURE this cancer.  Not remission, but CURE.  We asked my oncologist what the definition of ‘cure’ is in the cancer world, and she replied, ‘no evidence of the existence of disease.’  My chart will say those words when all’s said and done.  This is a rare cancer with some even more rare variables, but I’m young, healthy, determined and angry that I’m here in the first place.

I’m ready to get started, and I will not tolerate this bully!

‘My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.’  Proverbs 4:20-22

 

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10 thoughts on “Throttling the Bully

  1. Preach it sister!! I told Brodie from the start this cancer picked the wrong girl. I know (along with everyone else) you will, without a doubt, show it who’s boss & kick it’s rear. We’re fighting along side you & praying fervently. Love you!!

  2. I’ve always hated bullies too and in my opinion to be bullied, you must give up, fail to defend yourself, you, in effect, allow yourself to be bullied. So, if you put your mind to it and decide you WILL NOT be bullied, no-one CAN bully you.
    From what I read in your blog, Stephanie, you certainly aren’t going to let yourself be bullied by anyone.
    Your bully certainly has a fight on his hands.

    .

  3. You go girl…tell this bully to bug off. You have a great attitude and that will take you a long way. Continued prayers for you and the family. Love to you!

  4. I continue to be awed and humbled by the presence of the Lord in you! Thank-you for being such a wonderful example. Continuously praying.
    “God has commanded me. I am strong and very courageous in Christ; I am not afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD my God is with me wherever I go.” Joshua 1:9

  5. Cancer is the ugly whore sitting at the end of the bar waiting for you to excuse yourself so that she can stick her claws into your man!!!! (Sorry, I just had a visual…) lol Then when you come back… bottles are thrown everywhere… you and your guy walk out victorious and she is left there all dazed and confused because you went “spider monkey” on her!!!

    The moral of the story is… Sometimes, you have to go “spider monkey” to show em who’s boss!

    Seriously, you are tough as nails… as scary as this may seem and as dark as some nights may be, know that you are loved… prayed for… and serve a God that will never leave you or forsake you.

    Today I climb for you… praying my whole way through. ♡♡♡ 1,040 steps! I’m going spider monkey!!!!!

  6. Cancer is the ugly whore sitting at the end of the bar waiting for you to excuse yourself so that she can stick her claws into your man!!!! (Sorry, I just had a visual…) lol Then when you come back… bottles are thrown everywhere… you and your guy walk out victorious and she is left there all dazed and confused because you went “spider monkey” on her!!!

    The moral of the story is… Sometimes, you have to go “spider monkey” to show em who’s boss!

    Seriously, you are tough as nails… as scary as this may seem and as dark as some nights may be, know that you are loved… prayed for… and serve a God that will never leave you or forsake you.

    Today I climb for you… praying my whole way through. ♡♡♡ 1,040 steps! I’m going to go spider monkey on this climb!!!!!

  7. Steph this is just another stepping stone to the finish line. You are going to face some though days, but focus on the end result, yes I do believe whole heartily that you will beat this and come out triumphant. We pray for you to stay strong and positive. With God on your side you can never lose. We love you.

  8. Yes ma’am! Fight that bully with all you have. Praying for you and ur family, along with my bible study group of 30 women strong, knowing God is the great physician!

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